There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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