I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
