true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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