part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am one with the molecules
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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