Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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