Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
