How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
