I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
