My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
