I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
