I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize