my sisters under your porch take her home
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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