I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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