I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
