fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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