I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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