either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
