i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
