I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
