i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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