There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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