Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize