hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
