Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
