I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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