when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
