He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
