Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we made out on top of his cat.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
