i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
