did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
