she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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