he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
