Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
