it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
