I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
