I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize