So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
