i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
