is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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