I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
