The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize