I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
