Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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