Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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