I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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