At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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