summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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