I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
