do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
