This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she told me i tasted like america
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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