I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
