i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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