I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
