Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
