Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I need water and some morals
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
