What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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